How To Pee in the Woods (for Women)

I have never before been in a place where peeing in a toilet is regarded as abnormal behavior, even frowned upon. But Dancing Rabbit is really not like any other place I have ever been. In fact, the whole bathroom situation at this ecovillage in northeastern Missouri requires a bit of an orientation. DR uses a composting toilet system based on the Humanure Handbook. As a visitor, this is the first thing you learn when arriving here.

Basically, human waste is collected in buckets that sit under regular, unassuming toilet lids. After you do your business, you cover it with sawdust from the bucket that sits next to the toilet. The system is easy to use, and in general it doesn't smell.



When the bucket is full, it is collected in another location and a new bucket becomes its replacement. When all the buckets are full, they are taken to a compost pile, where the waste inside is covered with straw and left to compost for two years. After that time, the compost is completely innocuous and can be used as fertilizer. (Due to the gross-out factor, it isn't used on crops for human consumption, though I have been told that to do so would be perfectly safe.)

Which brings me to the peeing. Those buckets are heavy. And pee makes them heavier. And smellier. And urine is actually totally clean as far as water contamination goes. For these reasons, as well as for convenience, people here prefer to pee outdoors. "You're welcome to pee in the composting toilets, but honestly most people here just go outside. As long as it's not on the paths, it's fine," my visitor liaison told me on my first morning here.

"You know," another DR member piped in, "a lot of women when they first get here are a little squeamish about peeing outside. If you want, I can show you some techniques."

How could I refuse such an offer?

What follows is an outdoor peeing primer with techniques modeled by Liat, DR's foremost expert on female urination. (Okay, I made that last part up, but it sounds cool, right?)

The Basic Squat



This technique is probably the best for beginners. It's a good idea to pull your pants forward and to watch out for your shoes. Liat warned me, however, that the Squat is not advisable during high tick season, especially when peeing in tall grass.

The One-Cheek Sneak



A variation on the Squat, this technique involves shifting your weight to one butt cheek for greater comfort. It's especially important here to watch your shoes.

The Lean



Reduces exposure during tick season. Also, I'm told, can be used in a man's urinal.

The Gender Bender

This technique requires the use of a tool, unless you happen to have special skills (which apparently some women do).



Using either a commercial tool (pictured) or a funnel with a hose on the end, a woman can stand and pee like a man.

The Skirt Squirt



This technique only works if you're naked or wearing a skirt. Imagine Liat wearing a skirt in this picture (this is a G-rated blog, okay?), and you'll get the idea.

The Karate Kid



Only for the truly adventurous, this technique is best practiced in the buff. Shown here in both the bent-leg and full-extension variations.